It's time for Conspicuous Poetry Products again. Birchbox continues to send me interesting monthly boxes full of very literary beauty promises.
But it's been making me want to abandon all my glumpy little bottles of mascara forever.
A perfume sampler just arrived and one of the samples is from, I kid you not, Commodity Fragrances, LLC., who presents this new cologne called Book.
It's tiny cover describes its scent like an entry from a dictionary: Book, noun.
They claim the fragrance is "bound together by a crisp cover" (whatever that means) and that it's "a tip of the hat to the Hemingways and the Fitzgeralds of the world, conjuring the warmth of a quiet moment curled up with a good book."
The description ends with the uber-nerdy: "Eg. Get lost in a good book."
E.g.? Really? I don't even think they're using that abbreviation correctly.
And I have to tell you, a tip of the hat to the Fitzgeralds this fragrance is not. It smells like our childhood gerbil cage, I swear to God.
Not necessarily a bad thing. I just had a Proustian moment. So I guess it's really a tip of the hat to the Prousts of this world if we're being honest in advertising.
Anyway, moving on to this cleanser from my last month's Birchbox, a product from anatomicals. Their tagline is "we only want you for your body" to which I would say be careful what you wish for.
While showering I often look for good reading material and this is what greeted me on the back of this "shower to the people" cleanser tube:
"one day the world may truly wake up to equality, fairness and justice. but until then, it will just have to content itself with waking up thanks to this all embracing, completely non-discriminatory, slightly left of centre and highly invigorating body cleanser. beware though, you could soon find yourself on the street protesting for the full-sized version."
You don't want to know what I responded back to this tube of body cleanser. It's not very polite.
Don't even get me started on the pretentious lower case; because right now I have to apologize to both Karl Marx and my grandfather who both warned me this would happen someday. Goddammit.
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