Poet"Pay attention to the bottom of your feet." — Zen Master

"In the zendo, one must pay attention to one's feet. Our feet are amazing. They contain endless nerve endings that can give us incredible information about the place we are in, about ourselves, our lives and our direction. Our feet assist greatly in coming to balance…Yet how many of us take the time to pay attention to our own balance and wisdom, to the bottom of our own feet." — Brenda Shoshanna, Zen and the Art of Falling in Love

And this is one of the many reasons you, little blue poet Smurf, deserve a massage. Writing is hard on your little blue hands and arms, hard on your upper back and neck (because you slouch). The act of thinking takes you out of your body entirely. Who thinks about their feet when they're writing?

But here's the rub, most writers think massages are for people like John Forsythe and Joan Collins, that you have to find a spa to get one. Do poets even know how to search for spas?

I've been to spas. I've been to Asian parlors and reflexology clinics in strip malls. I've found my massages in hair salons, nail salons, and some sketchy low-rent, top-off parlors. And I've learned a lot about price and quality:

  • High end massages aren't any better. In LA, I've been to Glen Ivy Spa and Burke Williams. Both provided only expensive ($100-200) and weak (lackluster pressure and generic routines) massages.
  • Discount massage franchises (Massage Envy, The Massage Company) are ok, but not great. The price is usally better ($40) but the practitioners are usually burn-outs from the expensive spas. They're bitter, tired of the massage biz and often phoning it in.
  • Hair salons/nail salons/massage parlor startups: these are hit or miss. I've frequented many  with discount coupons from Groupon and Living Social. They tend to be too chatty but they have a bigger stake in their self-owned business so they may try harder.
  • Asian massages are the best. In fact the best massages of my life were from a Chinese salon in Redondo Beach. You don't take your clothes off and dudes reeking of their last cigarette break behind the store work with the most no-nonsense professionalism and skill.
  • In LA, massage is a competitive business and you can find cheap, quality massages at hundreds of Asian salons ($40-60). However, in Santa Fe and Albuquerque (and maybe in your town too), Asian Massage can mean something quite different. And if you go to one, the lobby might be pretty icky and men on their lunch breaks might be the main customers. Let me tell you something about my quest for an awesome massage. I don't care. I'll seek out these places anyway, because the gals do a better job. Maybe it's the work ethic thing; maybe their culture places a higher premium on preventitive body care. Whatever it is, Asian women and men are the best masseuses, hands down.
  • Find a reflexology practitioner. Reflexology focuses only on your feet and all those nerve endings. If you get a professional foot massage, you'll feel better than a full-body massage. Sometimes you can find a foot/full-body 90-minute package deal. I live for those. In LA, there are many Chinese reflexology salons. These are the best of both worlds. They soak your feet in flower water, you keep your clothes on and get the best massage of your life for an affordable price.
  • Massage schools are the best option for most people. In Santa Fe, I can get a 60-minute massage for $25-30 on a sliding scale. The students need bodies to practice on and they tend to be better than average at it, I'm guessing because they are motivated to do well in front of their teachers and haven't become burnt out by years of kneading dough.

So go forth and find an affordable massage. And tip well; your masseuse is probably a broke Chinese poet.